I’m busily writing up a description of the awesome concert I went to on Friday, but until then I give you the fruits of one of my more recent projects: horrible pickup lines! 

These are all real pickup lines, either used on or by my friends and most of them are guaranteed to make your hackles stand on end.  Please, please don’t use these.

 In LA:
“When is it?”
 “When is what?”
The beauty pageant.”

Elsewhere in CA:
“Are you an astronaut? Because your ass is out of this world!”
“I wish you were a Facebook page so I could hit the like button.”

From Chicago (good for both girls or guys!):
“I own a shake weight.”

From Tucson:
“Are your pants made out of mirrors? Cause I can see myself in them.”

From Seattle:
“I like how you’re wearing all black.”

From New York:
“Your name must be daisy, I’d sure like to plant you.”

“Want to come to my place for sex and pizza?  No?  You don’t like pizza?”
“Did you fart?  Cause you blow me away.”

More later!